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What is Trust?

Trust is reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. When trust is present in a relationship, it produces feelings of confidence and security. When trust is present, there is a certainty that what the other person says and does is a reflection of who they really are, and that they have a sincere interest in your well-being and value.

Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University, defined trust this way: “To trust means to rely on another person because you feel safe with them and have confidence that they will not hurt or violate you. Trust is the foundation of relationships because it allows you to be vulnerable and open up to the person without having to defensively protect yourself.” Can a relationship last without trust? Trust is one of the cornerstones of any relationship. When a relationship lacks trust, it allows for the development of harmful thoughts, actions, or emotions, such as suspicion, jealousy, bitterness, and debilitating anger. Over time, these emotions can lead to bigger problems such as emotional or physical abuse, depression, or even suicidal thoughts. Without trust, a relationship will not last -at least - there will not be a healthy and secure couple-ship, with a strong bond and intimacy, UNLESS a couple commits to a rebuild. How Can Trust Be Rebuilt? The good news is, it is absolutely possible to rebuild trust when there is a true repentance and renewing of mindsets, that result in a changing of patterns. These are the elements that are 100% necessary in the rebuilding of trust in a relationship:

  • Repentance expressed through consistent behaviours

  • Absolute truth: no deception, no lying, no hiding,

  • Complete vulnerability, honesty, and transparency

  • Non-defensiveness, humility and assurance of a commitment to the process and the other

  • Direct communication, and empathic validation of, the partner’s emotions and needs

  • Evident esteem of the other’s worth and value

  • Patience in the process, and a trust in Holy Spirit power to guide you through the hard

Oh! Did I mention that first and foremost… the causes of the integrity issues and the addiction, along with the rewiring of mind-maps, MUST be addressed, through expert guidance and support. This is one of the FIRST requests a betrayed spouse should request before even considering a rebuild of trust. At the same time, the betrayed spouse MUST embark on their own healing journey in order to regain grounding and wholeness, before they become vulnerable again –

Remember, vulnerability is the hallmark of a truly trusting relationship!

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